Posted by JohnDoenut on March 20, 2002, at 20:33:53
So I know people post things here when they are happy and when they are sad. Lately I've been more sad than happy. Its to be expected though what with the job finding problem now and no prospects in sight. I go up and down as you know and today I dont know why, i had taken my meds, I read my email and sometimes something someone says will set me off or just the whole gravity of it all and I entered a pit of despair that has been unknown to me before now. Not depression, despair. I tried taking more meds but it didnt help. Made it worse in a way. And then later I was in the kitchen and thought what the heck and poured two shots (Im not really a big drinker or anything) and within a few minutes I felt much better. For me this is weird because drinking usually makes me feel tired or drunk not better. I suddenly realized what this whole self medication thing with alcohol was all about.
And i was thinking I dont want to start drinking to feel better. I cant let this become a regular thing. anyway that was a few hours ago and now Im feeling better in general. I just have to keep going. Just keep stumbling through this world and see where it goes.
JohnD
poster:JohnDoenut
thread:20439
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020320/msgs/20439.html