Posted by Anne41 on March 19, 2002, at 13:40:30
I do not know what is wrong with me. For about 4 years I have seen many Dr.s trying to get help. I can remember as a teen thinking something was wrong with me. I was told it was just adolescence. Then it was PMS then baby blues, then situational depression then seasonal depression.
I know it has to be something more.
I know the difference between right and wrong. Though the value system my family had growing up is not one I take on with my kids. I am pretty strick with my kids.
I have always feared being like my mother. She is bipolar and has many issuses, I won't go there.
I have this problem with being accepted.
I lie, I steal, I have a gambling problem, not so much the money that I spend but the time I spend there. I am irritable all the time. I can't keep my eyes open after the kids go to bed, I sleep for about 3-4 hours then awake and can't go back to sleep. I feel worth less, I feel like a bad mother and a bad wife, I feel Like a rotten person. I had an affair about 4 years ago. It was an emotional affair. My husband I d ont think will ever trust me again. Which I do not blame him.
I am afraid to leave my house for what might happen, for what I might do.
I do not know where to go for help. I do not feel that anyone that I have seen is taking me seriosly.
There are so many things going on in my life right now that I can not help to wonder if my kids would be better off with out me.
I would just like for someone to tell me what the heck is wrong with me. Is there a name for what I am? What can I do and where can I go for help? I know I can not continue to live in this self-destructive manner anymore.
poster:Anne41
thread:20258
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020314/msgs/20258.html