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Ugh

Posted by JohnDoenut on March 13, 2002, at 11:33:48

Ugh. I cant talk to anyone else about this. I had gone through a period of productivity recently but then I felt like taking a break but now I cant get unstuck from the break. I know there is stuff I have to do but I just feel paralyzed like I cant do anything. There is stuff I do though like I cranked up loud music and worked out and off the stresses but I still want to escape. I think about where I could go or who I could visit but it doesnt seem enough. I feel like I want to escape myself. Pot doesnt seem to do anymore as it makes me more nuts. I do it once in a great while for the mental vacation. Im taking some other stuff to pump me up but sometimes it just doesnt make a difference. I dont know if im bent on fucking up my life or waiting for fate to run its course and get me a job or dump me on the street. I got married and Im responsbile for her now and I dont want to screw up her life. At this point she is the only reality to me. My anchor. Without her I would be unstuck in time and space. Like I was before her.

JohnD


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poster:JohnDoenut thread:19765
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19765.html