Posted by cmcdougall on February 11, 2002, at 15:44:41
In reply to Re: hospitalisation questions » alley, posted by christophrejmc on February 10, 2002, at 1:41:42
Hi,
Reading your posts reminded me of my own teenage years. I am 45 years old, but in my head I still feel 17.
I started high school in 1969 - a GREAT year. We had a new kind of rock and roll, birthcontrol pills, and free love (and no AIDS or herpes). We wanted to make love, not war, so there was a real attitude of non-violence. I never went to school worried about someone bringing a firearm - that would have been totally uncool.
Even though society was very different then, most things are still the same. All the angst, pressures, and family problems that plague teens today, plagued me as well. I don't know why, but it seems that most adults tend to minimize the problems and feelings that they had as teenagers. Maybe they don't want to remember because it is too painful. My brother and sister-in-law had LOTS of challenges and problems in highschool, yet they act as if they don't have a clue when dealing with their own teenage daughter. Both of them did a lot of drug experimentation back then, but have never discussed it w/ my niece (their daughter who is now 18). When I bring it up, they get mad or act like they don't remember any such thing. I think a lot of adults are like this. My own mother got pregnant w/ me and had to drop out of school to get married. She still acts as if she was the perfect little girl with no problems growing up. (?????) Her own mother (my grandmother) has told me some stories about her that are zingers!
Has anyone ever told you that this is the easiest time of your life? That is a big, fat, LIE. This is the HARDEST time of your life. I can't even imagine how awful I'd feel now being forced to go to school to learn things I'm not interested in, and then be TESTED on it. Yuck. Yes, as adults we have to go to a job in order to enjoy life but it is our choice. If we hate our jobs, we can always quit and look for something else.
Anyway, the point I want to make is that life gets so much better when you can make all your own choices. I'm not saying that I haven't made stupid choices that have given me problems as an adult, oh no, far from it, but at least I have the privilege of making the choice and I have opened my mind and learned a LOT from my mistakes. The "School of Hard Knocks" is an excellent teacher. I still suffer from depression (in remission while my current med cocktail keeps working), I still have trouble w/ cutting (limited to mutilating my cuticles now), and I still make stupid choices, but at least I am in control... And I'm still learning. Each day brings a new lesson, some more fun than others.
Oh my gosh, if I could go back and be 17 again knowing what I know now, what a bunch of different choices I would make. The first one would be to forget about the crummy boyfriends I had back then. What losers! I ended up marrying one of them and endured a marital hell for 16 years before I finally dumped him. My advice to you - dump your boyfriend. There must be 50 ways to leave your lover (thats an old song by Paul Simon).
I don't know what to tell you about going into the hospital - maybe it would be good for you, but maybe not... Please try to work real hard w/ your therapist. If you have a bad attitude about it, get a different one. Try to find one that uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is a FAST way of learning to understand why we feel and act the way we do. Once I was able to figure WHY I was doing something, it was easier to change.
Is there any way that you could find a mentor? I think if you had an adult in your life that wasn't an authority figure, someone who knows a little about mental illness, it could be a great resource for you. I mentor a young woman and we have a pretty good relationship. She feels free to talk to me about things that she probably never talked to anyone else about. For some reason when I give her hell about things (like sex, drugs, boys, etc.), it doesn't bother her so much. She also knows that I can't be disappointed in her, like a parent can.
You are young and have your whole future in front of you... That is such a precious thing to cherish. Use it carefully because it is gone before you know it. I am in the "old age" of my youth. Or the "youth" of my old age. LOL. Life just keeps getting better and better. Note that I did not say it gets easier, it just gets better! My 20's were hard, my 30's were a little better, and my 40's have been the best years yet. When I turned 40, I suddenly felt like a grown-up. I started dressing the way I felt most comfortable (like the old hippie I am), I speak what's really on mind, and I quit worrying what everybody else thinks of me! I'm even looking forward to my 50's.
Alley, use your youth up carefully. My blessings and best wishes are sent your way. You will have a happy life.
Carly
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> > i had one more question...was there some type of way he had his school work sent there? or did did he just make that up later on? thats my only concern cause i dont want to be behind since im supposed to graduate this year...
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> One of the hospitals I went to allowed me to keep current with class assignments. You might wanna check before hand.
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> > last night the doctor also suggested this IDT program that my school is in correlation with..and it sounded pretty good..but its all the basics...and that got me thinking how sad i would be to leave all my classes...yea theyre big but i have my best classes this year theyre not going to have painting, poetry, psych, portfolio,ceramics, forenic sciences...and like i dont know i worked three years to get to take those elective kinda classes when i wanted to and now its kinda like down the drain cause people dont know how to control themselves in a classroom...oh well...thats why maybe i have to learn to control myself when they cant do that... thanks again for the feedback...8o)
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> I don't know what IDT is, but I was in the "EI" (emotionally impaired) program in high school. I could still take my AP & other "normal" classes, but I suppose every school has different policies.
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> I think hospitalisation can be quite helpful (especially when it's your choice!) -- just make sure it's a good program. In my experience, the ones connected to regular hospitals are best; the others can be depressing, especially for a teenager.
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> Good luck, whatever you choose to do.
>
> -Christophre
poster:cmcdougall
thread:17979
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020202/msgs/18105.html