Posted by White Rabbit on February 1, 2002, at 4:49:37
In reply to Re: short-term disability for major depression?, posted by mist on January 31, 2002, at 21:33:09
I am on a sort of short-term disability myself without government aid. I quit my full-time job because I could no longer handle the stress. I'm in the medical profession and was doing all sorts of unprofessional things - being rude to (rude) patients, making the kind of mistakes that a beginner would make (after 20 years on the job), helping myself to drugs from the drug cabinet, being habitually late to work, fighting with the nurses and changing their orders. I took medical leave for two weeks' stay in a mental hospital.This is something for you to consider. When I returned, everyone treated me differently, as if I could go postal at any time...even the doctors, who should have known better. There was one amusing incident; I had a red pen in my pocket that leaked on my white scrub shirt. I tried to wash it out without much success. It was a very obvious stain, so I decided to cover it with White-Out as a temporary measure. The night before, I had been to a professional hockey game that our team was losing up until the last period, and then the other team choked. The crowd was so delighted that they stood up and started singing, "Hey, hey,hey...goodbye!"
So I was standing in an exam room, painting the stain on my shirt with White-Out and singing softly to myself, "Hey, hey, hey, goodbye." I looked up and saw one of the doctors staring at me with horror. I don't think he noticed the stain on my shirt, just that I was painting my clothes with White-Out and singing to myself. It was my first day back at work from the mental hospital and I know he thought I had gone completely over the edge. He hurried away before I could explain myself. Thank God I had not lost my sense of humor - I still love that story.So, if you do take leave for mental reasons, be prepared for others to walk on eggshells around you, once you return to work. They just won't know what to think. In this day and age, the stigma around mental illness or emotional problems should not carry the weight that it does, but it exists. All I can say is, don't visibly react to such ignorance. Don't complain and don't explain. Soon enough, there will be some juicy gossip involving others, and your adventure will be forgotten.
I still had to quit my job - because of the stress in my personal life, I couldn't handle my responsibilities at work. I'm lucky enough to be married to someone who can make enough money to support us and provide medical benefits for me, although we had to be careful to cut back on our expenses. I've been working for an agency which hires out temporary medical workers, but the work is sporadic. It's often spooky for me to have to enter a new place, meet new people, familiarize myself with new equipment and paperwork and the specific routine of the office BUT...if I don't like a place, I don't have to go back. Finding a job like that is like grabbing the gold ring on the carousel.
Anyway, one warning: at the hospital I became acquainted with another patient who has been on complete mental disability for 10 years. I can't describe what a frightening mess this person is.
The government pays for his housing, food, all his living expenses. He has no good friends, no real family, no job, no routine, no hobbies. He is beholden to nothing and nobody. He has a caseworker that shows up once in awhile and bugs him to find employment, but nothing ever happens, and that is usually the extent of his social interaction. When he can't stand being so lonely anymore, he checks himself back into the mental hospital. I've never met such a miserable specimen, and of course, his lifestyle is financed by our taxes. I know that if he had a reason to get up in the morning, he would be much happier. There's nothing wrong with him physically, he's of average intelligence and has no serious mental diagnosis beyond depression. But he figures, why should he go back to work - after 10 years - if he doesn't have to?Don't fall into that trap. A mind is a terrible thing to waste and such a lifestyle just screams for government reform.
W.R.
poster:White Rabbit
thread:17610
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020125/msgs/17660.html