Posted by kid_A on January 6, 2002, at 2:35:56
What do you do when its an onslaught, like Job, do you know Job, that happless joke of a bet... But I can't believe that... that i'm the target of bad luck and downward spirals... Holding my head in my hands at 3:26am, and nothing seems like an accomplishment...Is there a silver lining? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? When i think im finally getting up, something hits me like a rock and i'm down again, climbing up out of a hole and being kicked all the way up...
Sometimes I feel like i'm being dared just to do it, just to finish it, but i can't think like that... sometimes i feel like the awful participant in a horrible bet, how much can you endure before you cry, oh why oh why have you forsaken me?
It's 3:29, and i'm home, after a night drinking out, and it's all gone and nothing is left, and i dont feel any better for it... All the good things disapear in my mind so fleetingly that they hold no comfort for me... and its me, its me, its me...
"And I said to him:
From some country
that I have misplaced
I can recall a few things...
but the light of the kitchen
gets in the way.
Yet there was a dance
when I kneaded the bread
there was a song my mother
used to sing...
And the salt of God's belly
where I floated in a cup of darkness
I long for your country, fish.The fish replied:
You must be a poet,
a lady of evil luck
desiring to be what you are not
longing to be
what you can only visit."-anne sexton
poster:kid_A
thread:16333
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020102/msgs/16333.html