Posted by Noa on November 27, 2001, at 17:34:48
In reply to Re: How do 'babblers' cope with our distance?, posted by Fi on November 27, 2001, at 12:25:02
It is hard.
I just logged in after a number of days, and hadn't read Cass's thread.
It has happened before where I did care a lot and then felt the person rejected support, only to come back later and repeat it. I don't know if this is what happened with Cass, since I haven't read the thread.
In any event, when people are in acute distress, it is hard. Make sure to take care of yourself first and foremost. I liked what someone here said about the oxygen mask analogy--the flight attendant always tells you to put yours on first before helping someone else....
Perhaps I have become less warm and supportive here. I find that I limit my time on Babble, so I don't read every thread, and sometimes, I find that I just can't deal with reading threads about acute distress. I know--it is rather cold of me. But this is what I have felt is necessary for me to take care of myself. At one point, I was on babble all the time and caring about everyone intensely and I couldn't sustain it without it hurting me.
What I do try to do is if someone expressed distress and there don't seem to be any responses after a reasonable amount of time, I will say something. But usually, if there are a number of responses (and I see names among them that make me feel the person is in good hands) I just stay out of it.
So, cold, distant, etc., what I have been offering of late of myself has been one kind of support, not the same, close support as before, but it is how I've needed it to be.
This probably sounds very cynical to you guys. Perhaps it is.
poster:Noa
thread:14354
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011117/msgs/14437.html