Posted by fi on November 16, 2001, at 4:30:56
In reply to Re: There is Hope for Everyone, posted by mair on November 15, 2001, at 16:18:51
Hi Mair and thanks for the welcome!
Of course, we're all different, but with me I think I have always been rather a pessimistic person. And anyone whose dealt with anything dreadful has a right to be a bit on the cynical/jaded side (whether depression or some other psy or physical illness, or something social like a messy divorce or redundancy). So for me it wouldn't be a medication side effect- tho dont know if that's good news or bad news for you if the same applies?I dont think for me its completely a mood thing- its being too realistic about life and needing some concrete facts that prove there really are things to be hopeful about! But meanwhile, as you say, the alternative wise tactic is to live in the present.
When I do find I'm actually enjoying myself and then realise I'm thinking 'but it wont last..' I now give my self a (metaphorical) kick in the shins and tell myself to enjoy it meantime regardless, and not spoil it for myself. Which sometimes works.
There are 2 positive things I have had out of being depressed, although they in no way balance the vast number of horrible ones. One is that you can value just feeling OK so much, and not take if for granted (the other is that your shared understanding with other people in the same mess can help them, and make you feel useful).
This can be just the same with people who have other conditions, like heart disease or cancer- its all a normal psychological reaction to something dire. The problem is that with depression its our psychologicals which are affected by the condition, so it gets hard to pick out what bits are due to depression and what bits are normal reactions... Not that it makes a difference on how to deal with them, I suppose. Just helps reassure us that some of it isnt pathological, I suppose!!
For the bits where it is depression distorting my thinking, when I am in the thick of a bout, it helps me enormously to keep just a corner of my mind which recognises that my thinking is distorted,and reminds me to keep a little sceptical of whether my doomladen thoughts are valid.
I hope messages this long are OK for this list...
fi
> > Fi - I think I know what you mean. I've told my therapist and my pdoc (psychiatrist) that I have times when I feel just ok and then others when I feel different levels of true depression. I don't ever feel great (bouyant?) I don't know whether this is some medication effect (flatness) or just that after years of dealing with depression I'm cynical and jaded. I do know that I don't trust good feelings when they do intrude - I'm pretty sure the bad ones are a second away. For me a good day is when I am enough "in the moment" that I give very little thought to the fact that I do have this chronic condition. That I now ocassionally have these days or significant parts of such days is a huge improvement.
>
> By the way welcome to the Board.
>
> Mair
poster:fi
thread:13946
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20011105/msgs/13987.html