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Pain of Recovery

Posted by akc on August 16, 2001, at 15:32:22

Both my therapist and pdoc brought up a similar idea when I saw them this week. As you know, I am struggling with repeated bouts of depression. I am supposedly coping better with each one. However, to me, the pain is as bad, if not worse each time I go through one. Both my t and my pdoc suggest that I am in fact getting better and that what is happening is I am allowing myself to experience my feelings in ways I was unable to in the past. My thought is that I cannot tolerate much more pain -- if this is what recovery is, I don't know if I can handle much more. I am weary to my bones. Even though this bout has not lasted as long as most, I am still tired, very tired.

Now I am beginning to rambling. Would love to know what you all think.

I am lucky today. There is an airshow in town this weekend, and my office overlooks the downtown airport. The blue angels are practicing -- it is an incredible sight. I wish you could share it with me.

AKC


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