Posted by paula on July 21, 2001, at 7:54:38
In reply to OMG! Second guessing my best judgement..., posted by Racer on July 20, 2001, at 23:28:04
Racer,
Sounds like you did the best thing you could. Boy, I really identify with the self-doubt you're describing; knowing, logically, that you did the best you could, but still uncontrollably anxious about it. This is difficult enough without somebody actually giving voice to those fears! That's the worst!
> Now I'm mixed between fury, that someone would come by and yell without asking the circumstances; and terror that I'll lose my job for doing something wrong.
Hopefully they won't fire you without some kind of inquiry. At that point--if it comes that--you can explain the circumstances.
>
> Bottom line is that I'm spinning. Not because I think I did the wrong thing. I know I did the wrong thing, but I also know that it was the only safe and acceptable wrong thing to do in those circumstances.It's a constant disappointment that life forces so many horrible compromises!
> The problem is that I just don't know what the best wrong thing to have done would be."Best," eh? Sounds like nobody got hurt. Sounds like only rules got broken. You didn't cause the problem, you solved it.
>And, of course, I don't know how to assert myself in that situation safely. Nor how to let the other instructor's comments slide by calmly, secure in the knowledge that I did the safest thing available to me at that time.
I have no idea how to let such comments slide by. Why is it that we can know, logically, that the comments are meaningless, but can't get the illogical part of the mind to let go???
--Paula
>
> So, someone tell me the definitive answer. Tell me how to be perfect so that I never have to go through this again. Shouldn't be hard, right? After all, it's only all my life rising up inside me telling me that I MUST, by definition, be wrong, and the really homely thirteen year old girl inside me cowering in front of the truly beautiful, thin, rich and confident girl telling me I'm wrong.
>
> Oh, and mind you, I'm in my late thirties, and this chick was about twenty. Not that personal insecurities have anything at all to do with this. (But don't worry if you're younger than I and hope that age brings increased confidence around cute young women. It doesn't, there's always that inner 13 year old!)
poster:paula
thread:7696
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010717/msgs/7706.html