Posted by paula on July 5, 2001, at 21:15:29
In reply to Why? What triggers the switch?, posted by Chris A. on July 3, 2001, at 0:40:13
Chris,
I, too, experience that sudden switch from good to bad. Actually for me it's usually from good to just blah-nothingness. It's amazing and disturbing that I can feel very much in control of myself when things are going well, but then, out of the blue, I crash--which of course means that I wasn't really in control in the first place. Argh! Does that sound familiar?
As far as "rational" responses go, I dunno. I've been way too rational--in a destructive way, I think. (Well, NOW I think it was destructive.) Rational responses can go one of a number of different directions, so you end up making a subjective decision anyway. I've always avoided decision-making like the plague, despite seeing the truth in one of my mom's favorite sayings: "Not making a decision...IS making a decision." You have an authentic self that deserves to be here and that deserves to be heard--by you and by us. It can be incredibly hard to hear that inner voice. It can be hard just figuring out how to listen for it. But it's there, and it's you. And you both have a great deal of value and much to offer, not just to yourself but to the world at large.
Sorry to ramble....
Take good care,
Paula
> How is it that one can be going along ho-hum, lack of interest, motivation, etc and then wham, new methods of offing oneself present themselves in an obsessive way? Does anyone else experience this? Is this a Bipolar phenomenon?
> Perhaps a good night's sleep and lots of distraction tomorrow will help, plus a bit of preaching to myself about what I am doing on this earth, which isn't much at the moment. I just saw my pDoc today and was doing fair-to-middling.
> So what gives? The emotional pain always accompanies the thoughts. Perhaps I neeed to revisit a bit of that Geodon that is in my medicine cabinet.
> My goal is to deal with an irriational state for a change with a rational response.
>
> Please pray for me,
>
> Chris A.
poster:paula
thread:7012
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010628/msgs/7104.html