Posted by sar on April 13, 2001, at 19:36:39
In reply to friends you thought you had , posted by smylin on April 12, 2001, at 20:20:02
Hi Smylin,
I'm sorry about what happened with your friend! I don't see that you've done anything wrong because, as the other posters pointed out, different people react in different ways. How are we to be 100% sure about whether they'll feel freaked out by the information or love us a little bit more for it? Could you explain this to her?
I have 2 BP aquaintances and one has brought it up in passing before--I wasn't scared off, in fact in my mind I give both of em props for being such tough cookies. In my experience, occasionally referring to my own depression/anxiety hasn't been detrimental in most cases, it's probably just confirmed what other people might already have a sense of. Some have sighed and looked away, some have glossed over it, but the best conversations have come from people who have experienced it themselves, because then we can talk about causes/meds etc, and I think it creates a quiet kind of bond. The trouble for me has come in what Ted and Mila discussed--I've tried to hide my depression completely (missed out on some support that way) and I've also been the "writhing ball of pain" (one of my oldest friends is currently not talking to me for being that ball a little (a lot?)too much).
Moderation. Telling the right people. Best friends deserve this information, they are the perfect people for it. They're also the perfect people not to pour a lot of mental garbage on.
I think it was noble of you not to want to worry her about it, maybe you can just trust her a bit more...? Hope it works out for you.
irie,
sar
poster:sar
thread:5636
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010404/msgs/5651.html