Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2005, at 13:06:57
In reply to Re: Hmm, realization today » alexandra_k, posted by gardenergirl on November 17, 2005, at 8:18:47
((((((gg))))))
> Still, he pretty much said that this whole event was "my fault", since I didn't complete my D proposal, and thus did not "earn" a gift.:-(
Er... Thats not terribly helpful
:-(
(I'm sure you feel bad enough without anybody else 'assisting' you in that)>We had a stupid agreement that I would get a certain anniversary gift if I got my proposal draft completed by that date.
Yeah but... Those are the sorts of agreements that aren't really supposed to be delivered on... Sigh. Maybe its a girl thing??
> but I realize now that I was getting sucked into his view...that it was about motivation. It's really not.
Yeah. Getting it done... Symbolises a whole bunch of stuff. I think... A lot of people struggle with that. That last little bit. I anticipate... A similar struggle. Not this time around. But next time around.
Yeah. 10 years is a long time. I'm sorry gg.
> At the same time, I feel like a petty child for getting upset about this. But it's the meaning that gets me. Because of this stupid agreement, he can't see past it to reflect on what 10 years together means as a whole?Yeah. I think I understand. I think I'd be pretty upset too.
> You know, I really enjoyed thinking about and getting him what I did. I was so excited to give it to him. It meant a great deal to me. I feel sad for him that he could not allow himself to have a similar feeling, and that he tells himself that it was "my fault". I've been a "bad girl."
> Screw that.Yeah. Screw that.
> We've got so much work ahead of us. And it's not easy. It's very painful. Good thing I love the blockhead. But I don't like him much right now.I dont' like him much right now either :-(
I'm sorry.
I don't really know what to say...
Except... That I do understand about deadlines... And about how sometimes they don't happen. And about how other people making us feel worse about them... Doesn't help. It just hurts. I'm sorry.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:573235
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/relate/20051031/msgs/579643.html