Posted by Dr. Bob on March 14, 2014, at 15:43:47 [reposted on March 14, 2014, at 15:44:28 | original URL]
In reply to Re: He's not dying, posted by Dinah Seeks Support on March 13, 2014, at 19:59:10
> You know, while I appreciate your concern, I resent your bringing Babble Administration into my current crisis. It just reminds me of some of the last work my therapist and I did together.
>
> You let us grow to be involved in that place, and then you took it away from us. ... You provided a place for us, then you yanked it out from under us.I brought it up because this got me thinking about my having hurt you before. I'm sorry if doing so added to the hurt you're feeling now.
> Not that I really need or want to know the particulars. I want to know if he could have sent a personal note but chose not to, or if he wasn't able to. ... I want to know if he actually cares about me. I want to know if twenty years of convincing me to extend myself from my protective shell were based on a lie.
In my case, I could've sent a note to you, or all the deputies, or even posted something. It occurred to me, but I didn't. Does that count as choosing not to? It wasn't that I decided not to. I see it as avoidance or denial or something. I did care about you all. Providing this site wasn't based on a lie.
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> I'm actually hoping that there's more involved here than his taking care of himself. Therapists have a greater responsibility to those who rely on them than that. ... It would be fine if he couldn't deal with interacting with me right now. But it's not fine if he has the oxygen to write an impersonal email, to record a voice message, but doesn't bother to write a couple of sentences to someone he has known for twenty years, someone he knows does (and that he has allowed to) see him as a parent.
>
> I hope there's more to it than that. He recognizes, at least when not under pressure, the responsibility a therapist has to a client. And that a board administrator, if you wish to bring yourself into this, has to a board.If I imagine suffocating and someone I depended on not helping me, I think I'd feel hurt and shocked and confused and angry and abandoned and frightened.
Bob
a brilliant and reticent Web mastermind -- The New York Times
backpedals well -- PartlyCloudy
poster:Dr. Bob
thread:1062499
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140310/msgs/1062499.html