Posted by alexandra_k on January 23, 2014, at 1:18:07
In reply to Re: follow up..., posted by HomelyCygnet on January 18, 2014, at 15:19:42
i had a massive brain f*rt or something and totally misread your post.
i somehow managed to misinterpret it as your threatening to send my post to the guy i saw...
where did i get that from??
i've been feeling under a lot of pressure / stress about what i might be studying this year... very concerned about that... the direction of my life.
i... do feel a bit bad that i'm judgemental... that i'm a bit stuck up... that i'm... intolerant of others. intolerant of difference. that i'm mean to people rather than kind. and so on. i do worry about these things sometimes. but if i'm not careful i feel like a horrible awful person who may as well shoot myself in the head righ tnow.... and that isn't hte most helpful way to feel...
so... some conception i can live with... k but that also gets me feeling kindly disposed to others and wanting to improve myself in how i conduct myself towards others...
i think...
i'm going to raise the issue with him. about the (to my mind excessive) stuff on his being happy to see me. i think jokey is best - but i'm not sure i can pull it off. if he does it next time.... i'll do something then. be jokey... you can't POSSIBLY be that happy to see me?? see if he sort of gets the hint.
maybe he is doing it on purpose. to assess my social skills... my judgements about appropriateness or inappropriateness... patronising... was a word he raised. unclear to me whether others have raised this in response to him or whether he is intentionally putting it in... maybe they have matched me to work with him because...
we might both be helped?
?
perhaps.
perhaps.
i shouldn't be so quick to judge.
and what i said about internet guy... wasn't about him. i was actually thinking of particular other people... i don't know anything about internet guy, of course. he didn't look that bad... but he is... well... he is writing to a 'popular audience' which doesn't particularly inspire me.... but, whatever.
i'm sorry i went off at you. i needed... some space, honestly. some space. and now i've had some and i'm good. i hope we are still good. i hope i didn't hurt / offend you. i do appreciate your contribution to my threads... i find you... disturbing. in a mostly good way. i'm glad you are here.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1058730
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20131211/msgs/1059297.html