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Re: Thinking we are special

Posted by Deneb on October 30, 2013, at 20:21:08

In reply to Thinking we are special, posted by Partlycloudy on October 29, 2013, at 16:19:31

I tend to agree with this.

If you listen to another person's life story, really *listen*, you will often realize that they are just as messed up as you are. Everyone is really. Rich idillic life? Perhaps in their minds they are having an existential crisis due to not having a meaningful life or something...we all have problems.

Once you start thinking your are unique and no one knows your pain you will start to think that others will never understand and naturally be unable to relate to others as well. This is a trap that pushes others away and this turns into a cycle.

One thing that really helped me get over my problems was to really accept who I am as a person and to realize that I'm not really different from others.

I then stopped thinking of myself as having "mental problems" and more of just another normal human being with problems. I stopped focusing on what I couldn't do but instead focused on what I could do and what I had. I realized I was pretty lucky compared to the rest of the world. At least I don't have to worry about war in my backyard or about starving to death or something.

> One of the first things I learned in therapy is that the disorders that bring us into session lead us to believe that we are unique and special. Unfortunately, or fortunately, this just isn't so.
>
> There are those who are anti social. Those are very intelligent. Those who self harm. Those who suffering from such crippling depression that they are unable to have a shower, or dress themselves. Or those who are so manic that they manage to isolate and insult all those in their lives who are merely trying to save their lives.
>
> None of us are special.we each have our issues. We have many combinations, but really. Who among us has been abused as a child? Emotionally neglected? Witnessed horrible events no child should should ever see, or even participate in? Been traumatized by any number of events that some easily recover from. Other pay a very high price for being traumatized.
>
> We are, collectively, people who are of different circumstances. Who have experienced different events. But I have not found it helpful to think of myself to think of myself as unique. I am not so very special. Those requiring help for mental illness are a business unto themselves. It may be form of protection to think that Nobody understands what I've gone through, or No one understands how unique my needs are.
>
> But it is a lie. A lie, I tell you. It will garner you hours of therapy, years of medication, and drive away people who might otherwise be of help in your life.
>
> But, go ahead. Believe you are different, and special. It's a grand illusion.


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poster:Deneb thread:1053331
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20130930/msgs/1053401.html