Posted by Twinleaf on November 23, 2012, at 11:46:51
My analyst thinks that all of the relationships which we have are inevitably colored to some extent by projective identification. By this, he means that, as relationships become intense, they begin to include unconscious elements from our past relationships -almost always those from our parents. He thinks that marriage, in particular, tends to become burdened by this, if one has had stressful or unsatisfying relationships with one's parents as children. But he also thinks that all important relationships are affected to some extent, including those with friends and children, and, of course, therapists.
He feels that a lot of the important work of therapy involves grieving for the relationships we needed but did not have in our childhoods, and thus moving beyond them into healthier and more satisfying relationships as adults. He feels that one does this first with a therapist, and then later more generally in one's own life.
From my own experience, I feel that this is very, very true. I would love to know what others think.
poster:Twinleaf
thread:1031746
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20120922/msgs/1031746.html