Posted by emmanuel98 on January 9, 2012, at 20:58:32
In reply to Re: Ideal client » emmanuel98, posted by Solstice on January 8, 2012, at 20:27:20
I talked about this with him today actually. I told him I was afraid he no longer respected me because I couldn't let go and move on. He told me that was completely distorted thinking, transfering my own tendency to drive myself too hard onto him. He said if you need to keep seeing me to maintain equlibrium in your life, then we will keep seeing one another. That it is fine with him. My SW says I still need him and will gradually be able to let this go. But I feel like my relationship with him causes me such pain. It is not him, but some yearning in me that I associate with him. He said I have to learn to let that go, to accept that niether he nor anyone elso can really fill this yearning in me because it comes from being abused and neglected as a child. My SW says I need to learn to give this unconditional love to myself. That noone else can ever provide it. I saw them both today and felt so sad and overwhelmed. Yet I am so lucky to have not just one, but two very skilled therapists in my life.
> Anyway, I wonder if your angst could be eased by a frank talk with your therapist about the issue of whether you are somehow disappointing him? What I understand in retrospect about my situation is that the more convinced I was that my therapist was wholly available to me and not in a hurry for me to leave, the more that enabled me to 'let go' and feel less 'need.' Does that make sense? But the arrangement my therapist and I came up with that has worked so well had to be worked out along the way.. and the kind of angst you're describing was always what pushed me to discuss it. Is there anything I've shared here that might help in your situation?
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poster:emmanuel98
thread:1006540
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20111220/msgs/1006825.html