Posted by pegasus on May 4, 2011, at 9:11:13
In reply to Re: Why do I not want my T to like me?, posted by pegasus on May 3, 2011, at 9:43:23
I saw my T yesterday, and brought up this issue. But before that, I'd started talking about being raised in a devoutly religious family. One thing that I carry around from that experience is a fear of being judged. That has been abundantly expressed in my therapy before this. So, we agreed that to talk about difficult things, it's human nature to want an environment that is supportive and caring. He added, "And not judgmental or condemnatory." Which is exactly right. Being not liked would feel like being harshly judged, which connects for me to concepts of sin and punishment and shame and being fundamentally not OK (original sin).
No wonder I've struggled with SI.
I've never worked on this stuff in therapy, and I'm kind of excited to be going there. It's so core to who I am, for one thing. And this conversation makes it seem more possible to bring up some things that I'm ashamed of, from the time after I became less religious, and was sort of morally adrift. I have not really worked on most of that stuff either.
So, maybe it wasn't such a hard question. But it has led to an interesting place in my therapy.
- p
poster:pegasus
thread:983719
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/984521.html