Posted by Anemone on March 30, 2011, at 20:26:35
Hi Everyone,
I have always wanted to participate more here but I don't know everyone's stories and feel scared of saying the wrong things. I hope it's OK to talk anyway.
My T has given me a 90% discount for the past year. Her full fee is $100 but she charges me $13, which is my hourly wage at my job.
I am super grateful and ashamed... If I had to pay her full fee, I could afford to see her only 3 times a year.
I always tell her I will work hard on my career to make a better living so I can pay her full fee. But, a year later, my money situation has gotten worse.
I am busier than ever working my day job and painting in my spare time to build up a portfolio of good art work, but living costs more and more and I can't seem to keep up, despite being extremely frugal.
I will keep trying to solve this, but meanwhile I am feeling very pressured to cut out costs.
For the past few months, I 've been seeing her once every 3 weeks (instead of the 3 times a week she recommends for my anxiety).
I tell her I can't see her often because I am busy with painting, which is true.
Another reason I can't see her as often is money, but I can't tell her that because she has already given me the biggest discount ever. I am afraid she'll be mad if I tell her that I can't afford to see her as often as I actually need.
So, I miss her terribly and tell myself to wait, and wait and wait, until I have a reason that qualifies a visit to her......(she lets me decide when I see her, there is no strict schedule)
Technically I can survive without seeing her, sort of. Isn't buying food more important than therapy?
(except one day I will kill myself out of melancholy and missing her).
Thanks, I just wanted to confess this. I hope you won't lecture me. I am trying my best to make things work.
Anemone
poster:Anemone
thread:981499
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110324/msgs/981499.html