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Re: Therapygirl - How is T3? » TherapyGirl

Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2011, at 9:04:11

In reply to Re: Therapygirl - How is T3? » Dinah, posted by TherapyGirl on March 26, 2011, at 21:44:33

She just hasn't been with you long enough to realize that you aren't more like, well, *me*.

A year. Ten years. I think I'd always feel anger and resentment towards someone who abandoned me. Who made me feel as if they didn't care for me as much as I wished they did. That doesn't mean that if the relationship had been positive enough that I wouldn't have mostly kind thoughts about them. It wouldn't even mean I couldn't be friendly with them. But my feelings would have forever changed, and not in a good way. Under the sorrow at the loss, there would always be a small (or large, or complete conflagration) coal of anger - perhaps narcissistic rage. I'd hope it didn't influence my behavior. I'd hope that I could still feel all the good things, and appreciate what I could have. But it would still be there somewhere.

That may be how she's thinking, and you may have to explain to her that you aren't as narcissistic as your friend Dinah. :)

As much as I love my therapist, and hope that I long appreciate all the things he has given me, I think I'll always hate him at least a little for not loving me back... enough. He was my therapist/mommy. I never really was his therapee/daughter even though he said I was.

I think I may still vaguely resent my father and my beloved dog for dying. Even though I caused the death of my beloved dog in an accident. Over thirty years ago.

Which is just how it is. I'm trying not to judge myself for it. Feelings just are.

 

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