Posted by Annabelle Smith on February 13, 2011, at 16:29:53
In reply to Enraged, posted by Annabelle Smith on February 13, 2011, at 15:38:17
I just want to cry-- I feel so overwhelmed. Yesterday was actually a better day. I focused on each task that I needed to get done, concentrated, and made some progress. But today has been a waste.
Yesterday, I slept in until noon. Sleeping seems like the best reality most of the time, once I can finally get to sleep. Even for the worst nights, the morning is usually like a 'reset' button. Most mornings, when I get up, I have a couple of instants or moments where it is a sensation of not knowing what I am or who I am or what any of this is. And then, I remember most of it, and start anew. But the feelings are often reset, ready to surge forth at any moment. But yesterday, after I got up, I didn't feel suicidal most of the day-- I even had the sensation during this time that although I know I had felt suicidal during the past, I couldn't experientially know that was true-- I couldn't bring back the feelings. I knew they would come back, but couldn't feel their reality then.
But they are back today. Dear f*ck*ng God.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:979199
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110206/msgs/979202.html