Posted by Annabelle Smith on December 5, 2010, at 14:20:40
In reply to Re: Hard time again, posted by emmanuel98 on December 3, 2010, at 20:00:20
Thank you for your responses.
Maybe my therapist and I can look at this post together in the next session.
I am having a really hard time with food, body image/weight, and binging now. It is so much worse under stress. Each time, I think that oh, it won't hurt this one time; but each one time becomes many times. And after I do it, I feel terrible. It's not like I am currently binging a lot, quantity-wise. However, it is more in the intention behind the food/eating. I think about it all the time, and feel huge. "Reality"-speaking, I don't think I'm that fat-- probably "normal" (like 135 lbs and 5'4'' ish) But all I can think about is needing to lose weight-- like 25-30 lbs-- and then I would feel so much more in control. Last semester I felt so depressed, I lost my appetite and lost about 10 lbs without trying. Now, the chaos and anxiety/stress are having the opposite effect. I try to restrict sometimes and then lose control and binge, to varying degrees. I struggled with this while I was home over Thanksgiving break. I wanted to tell my therapist so badly about it in the session we had a couple days ago. But I when I tried to talk about some of this, I felt like I was going to cry, and so couldn't speak the words. I just need his help, but I feel like I will lose control and am ashamed and embarrassed about this.
poster:Annabelle Smith
thread:972263
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/972600.html