Posted by annabelle smith on November 17, 2010, at 22:08:38
In reply to Re: an eternity, posted by annabelle smith on November 17, 2010, at 21:54:44
I will add this:
maybe I am being too hard on myself? Maybe I need to just let it be. In the class that I am taking right now at my university on Post-Freudian Theory and Religion, my professor-- a pastoral counselor and very, very compassionate and awesome person-- emphasizes repeatedly to the class that one of the most crucial things about therapy is that we MUST trust the process. Trust. I think that is a word with which that I have an incredible amount of trouble.
One of the exercises that my therapist gave me to do during the time between sessions is for me to be a therapist to myself in that I could write and think of things to say to myself that would soothe, validate, and comfort. (we did actually talk about attachment, though not for very long; however, I think this exercise was partly born out of that)
So here goes:
It is OK to idealize and to be attached. Here is the safe place of understanding and "with-ness" that you have longed for so many years, in so many lonely and painful moments. You thought no one could ever understand. You thought that a lot of this was even your fault. But, actually, no. Here is someone who does understand, who is present, and who is willing to stick it through with you while you heal and get better. It is understandable that you have a desperate, even obsessive, attachment to him. That is OK; stop trying to understand, and just let it be. This is your path to wholeness and new life.There. I said it. And I will try to live into this and accept it.
poster:annabelle smith
thread:970565
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20101115/msgs/970650.html