Posted by twinleaf on September 19, 2010, at 10:56:48
In reply to Re: My goodness, Dinah! » twinleaf, posted by Dinah on September 19, 2010, at 9:33:52
So nice to hear what has been happening. As I was reading what you wrote, it sounded a bit like a teenager trying her wings. In my memories of your postings from past years, it was more like a child clinging FIRMLY to her therapist. You were just not going to be dislodged! You must have gotten what you really needed from him. As I go along, I'm starting to think that we may not even know when or how we re getting what we need. Maybe it's more unconscious than not.
Most of the depression that I had lifted several years ago, soon after I went to the "new" analyst. Now, we are doing, really, what you have been doing- dealing with attachment issues. We have slowly changed the nature of the therapy, so that it is less verbal.We spend more time in silence, with him looking at me with his penetrating eyes, while I look, look away, then look again. Just like a baby.It's as if I am finding and losing myself in his glance and his mind over and over. I know I haven't explained this well, because it sounds silly. But it's everything: terrifying, painful, comforting, blissful. So many strong feelings come up, and we talk about those (endlessly). After about a year of this I noticed a shange over last summer's vacation. I did not miss him, whereas I missed him so much in previous years that I couldn't have fun. That sounds like you. We don't actually plan to do things the way I described, we just allow it to happen when it comes up.It's easy to overlook.
"Keeping the therapeutic frame" can get more difficult when you have gone to someone for a long time, as you have said.. I've seen my analyst when he has had personal loses and illness. But, although he is basically warm and friendly, he never engages in small talk, and invariably greets me with a calm silence which is focussed on me. So far, this seems to have kept us on the right track
My analyst talks about terminating when we are able to "internalize" the therpist. I always thought I would be consciously aware of doing that. But perhaps not?
poster:twinleaf
thread:962645
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100831/msgs/963017.html