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Re: How are things now? » TherapyGirl

Posted by Daisym on May 11, 2010, at 22:17:30

In reply to Re: How are things now? (nm) » Daisym, posted by TherapyGirl on May 6, 2010, at 15:45:53

Things are very, very busy so there is very little time for innerwork. But the fall out from this shift is that my tough organizing part is very much back in charge. "She" doesn't think therapy is necessary and when ever I begin to feel, she swoops in, wraps up the feelings and carries them away to the ceiling. So I'm numb a lot. But it has allowed me to get through all the craziness of the past week and half.

My group therapist says she thinks that "worlds collided" and that is never ever supposed to happen. It is just too scary to allow both sides of me together - because we can't make the bad stuff that real for the side that copes in the world. My therapist says that he somehow hurt the sensitive little girl part of me very badly and now she has gone underground again. I can't identify the hurt - there are no words for it - but he keeps talking about an unintended message that I'm reacting to, despite my best efforts to intellectualize it all. I think he feels bad because he is being very gentle and not pushing me to do more than sit with it.

So it is all very complicated and it is really hard to work on as dissociation seems a prominent symptom right now.

Isn't it odd how your attachment to your therapist grows, rages and then fades at different times?

 

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