Posted by onceupon on April 18, 2010, at 17:33:06
I'm defending my dissertation tomorrow *gulp*
I've been procrastinating something terrible in preparing the presentation. It's odd that after pouring a year and a half of work into this thing, it all feels so anti-climatic now.
I can't get over the fact that I *really* want my therapist to contact me, to wish me luck or something. She knows I'm defending tomorrow. When she found out my defense was on the day we usually meet, she said, "I'll go ahead and take you off my schedule, because you've got much better things to do afterward than come see me!" I smiled feebly and agreed, but in truth? What I really wanted afterward? Was to see her. That made me feel more than pathetic. I don't have anything better to do, or at least anything that I'd like to do more. No one I can celebrate with tomorrow (that will wait until the weekend, though it's just my husband, and I'm not terribly excited about that).
This is really starting to sound like a sob story, which it isn't. I am excited to be *this close* to finishing my degree. But when everyone keeps asking me, ad nauseum, if I'm excited! Aren't you excited! I say yes, and think no. I tried to tell my therapist about it last week, but I don't think she really got it either. Or maybe she did. I'm not sure. At any rate, I just wanted to put this stuff out to the babble-verse, because I figured if anyone would understand it, you guys would.
Thanks for letting me share.
poster:onceupon
thread:943889
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100405/msgs/943889.html