Posted by Willful on April 14, 2010, at 23:47:05
In reply to Re: commitment from therapist, posted by deerock on April 14, 2010, at 9:59:56
Without being in the situation, it's awfully hard to know what your T's motives in saying that were. She might have meant that she didn't have time for an in-depth phone call,and thought that you would be unsatisfied and that that might intensify your negative feelings about therapy.
It's harder to say whether it's "unprofessional" for your T, in this instance to say these things. It's certainly not acting well in the role of the T to let these things "get in the way." Obviously, it's a T's job not to let them get in the way, but rather to use feelings as part of being helpful. The question would be, is it helpful for you. did she make a therapeutic decision to tell you that she's feeling that way. If she's acting as a T, she would have to have a reason for communicating the feelings, as opposed to handling them privately, and continuing with therapy.
I don't know enough about you and your T and the situation to guess whether she's lost her therapeutic stance, or if she thinks for some reason, it's important in your case to be very open about how you affect her. Hypothetically, for example, she might think you've been misled or lied to about people's feelings, or been in a home with parents who were very closed and hard to know-- and it could very important for you to have that degree of transparency about what she feels--which she might not do with other patients. (Again, that's a hypothetical situation.) So she might be deciding to tell you these feelings for a reason.
It might also be a way of letting you know how your rejection affects other people-- that they will find it hard to be there in a continuous and stable way because you do throw seem like you'll abandon them-- etc
You should check with her-- maybe as others have suggested, asking the questions about her reasons-- without threatening to quit, or implying that she's been unprofessional. If she does feel that she can't be fully professional with you, I hope she would either have consultation with another T to work on her issues with that-- or would refer you to another therapist who's more appropriate. You seem to have a turbulent relationship with her-- and to lose confidence, so it may also be an issue that you struggle with. It's best to keep moving forward in these situations, unless you judge that she really can't help you-- often there are twists and losses of confidence or trust in therapy, and you need to hold on, and keep going, to get to a place where you feel stronger and more able to trust a T.
It's hard to do, I know.
Willful
poster:Willful
thread:943360
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20100405/msgs/943438.html