Posted by Verloren on January 24, 2010, at 22:38:04
In reply to Re: I used to love my T, now I don't..., posted by emmanuel98 on January 24, 2010, at 22:03:04
Do you mind me asking how long were you in the partial hospitalization program before your T was able to let you come back?
I worry that I won't get beyond my anger toward being there and be able to feel that compassion you mention. It's odd, I'm compassionate toward others in certain circumstances, but in this one, I can't see beyond myself. Which, in that way, hinders me just as well.
I consulted with Ada because of the romantic transference I was feeling for my T. I needed to hear a therapy professional tell me it was OK and that I was not a freak, before I could come clean to my T about my feelings.
Incidentally, all of this roller coaster weirdness that I'm on began as soon as I revealed my feelings to my T.
The week before I told her about the transference, I asked her if I made her uncomfortable. She immediately replied "Not at all in the least". I then asked her again one week after admitting my feelings. She paused and thought for a while and said that she was uncomfortable with me not getting the level of help I needed. That's when she started suggesting me for the iop. So in my unbalanced mind, it made me think I had done something to make her uncomfortable. And the only something was that I told her I loved her and showed her a post I wrote describing her as beautiful and petite.
Now I feel like that was a bad, bad, bad idea and I don't trust my decision making anymore.It's also why I'm so attracted to the thought of going to Ada. I can start over and hopefully not make the same mistakes and feel rejected. This time I can do it right.
But there's no "right" way to do therapy is there?
poster:Verloren
thread:934868
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/934927.html