Posted by deerock on December 15, 2009, at 21:01:50
hi everyone. thanks for helping me get through the last few days. i met with my T tonight. i apologized and told her i was grateful she didnt terminate me. she was glad i said sorry.
she told me it was not the fantasy that pushed her over the edge. it was that i pushed her to her limit with the fantasy and the following session i showed no signs of remorse.
i think i was so caught up in being angry it didnt even occur to me to apologize until she basically threw me out of there.
we had a good session and i think i can learn from this and move past it with her.
one thought came to mind. have any of you read alice miller? she talks about rage and censorship in her books. she talks about therapists being unable to handle rage and that ends up causing censorship in clients and contributing to a sense of not being able to speak ones mind.
i know i am dancing a fine line here between straight up emotional abuse towards my T and being able to say what I feel...and im just processing aloud here....but i think what is happening is not that she is trying to censor me...but rather feels that i completely disrespected her and her basic needs in a relationship, therapist/client, human to human...whatever you want to call it.
so its much less about her not being able to tolerate much rage and more about her expressing discomfort and me completely ignoring it (perhaps).
ill keep talking with her about it. thanks again.
poster:deerock
thread:929464
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20091212/msgs/929464.html