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Re: There is life after therapy but it takes a while

Posted by Cowardly Lion on November 13, 2009, at 5:42:22

In reply to Re: There is life after therapy but it takes a while » Cowardly Lion, posted by Dinah on November 12, 2009, at 14:10:11

> I'm glad you've reached a place of distance and peace.

Thank you Dinah. I think it took me so long because I just didn't want to accept that the relationship was totally over.

> I'm sure therapists have to constantly monitor themselves to make sure they aren't meeting their own needs in therapy. I've actually had that conversation with my therapist at least once. Not in any way that delved into his issues of course.
>

The scary thing was that my therapist was one of the most self-aware and professional you could hope to meet and kept herself well in the background.

I can't go into details, but she suddenly realised herself, at the time, that in ending my therapy she was re-creating a bereavement; this was just a brief comment, no details. She then did the professional thing and got personal therapy. She acknowledged this at the time in a carefully considered way ('It might be that I also have someone to talk to' dropped rather randomly into the session - I hadn't the foggiest idea then what she meant!)

Where she and I would probably part company is that I guess that she thought that her stuff was transiently intruding at that time. But now, from a distance, I think that maybe *everything* that went on in therapy chimed as much with her unconscious feelings as it did with mine. And that was not always to my benefit, whatever her kindness, good intentions and thoroughly professional behavior at the conscious level.

Thanks again Dinah. I think your therapist is lucky to have you as a client.

Cowardly Lion

 

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