Posted by garnet71 on April 25, 2009, at 13:28:12
In reply to my therapist is taking a new position, posted by desolationrower on April 25, 2009, at 1:52:15
That's a great idea. There's tons of life coaches, but maybe that's something insurance wouldn't pay for? Or maybe it crosses professional boundaries for a clinical therapist (but not life coach) to go out places, even if its only therapuetic-I don't know, just thinking out loud.
Okay, well here's an idea if you could go out w/a friend or family member to a bar. To start your practice, go to a little dive/local bar, (don't pick a classy place) like a little sports bar or something. Go on a Tuesday night when it's not too crowded, or during a bad thunderstorm which influences peoplel's behavior somehow (don't ask me to explain this now).
There are always people that would like to meet people but don't take the initiative for whatever reason, trust me there. There are people sitting there going over their problems, their trivial day-to-day annoyances. People crave pleasure or joy or whatever. People crave personal connections and to escape from the doldrums.
So I'm not the life-of-the-party type, hate being the center of attention, but like to have fun as a way to connect w/people. So to give you an example of what I have done in the past--one time in an uncroweded bar I picked someone out who looked serious-has a lot on their mind, had a suit on after work. Looked like he was having a bad day... so I was talking to my friend and laughing and stuff and I noticed he kept glancing over...seemed like he was longing for some companionship..just could tell. So I just went over and snuck behind him and put some icecubes down his back....he loved it and it made his day..then the whole quiet bar turned into a party, we unded up getting big pitchers of ice cubes and dumping them on people, and having ice battles, and everyone ended up drenched at the end of the night. What's neat is that everyone joined in--people you'd never expect. So maybe you and your friend could start something like that to ease the tension. If you have trouble talking, maybe playing with ice (I know sounds stupid but I mean doing a prank or something) could ease you up because you wouldn't have to talk.
People w/o social anxiety are shy and have trouble striking up conversations and stuff. or people are inhibited. I like to bring that out in people. I guess you have to really be able to read people though, cause I'd imagine you could piss someone off with my tactics..but I think you are good at that, I mean reading people (not pissing off people).
So maybe start off and pick some cute girl who looks lonely or distracted or whatever and pull a little prank on her. Of course buying a drink and sending it over to a girl is flattering (if the guy is nice!!). You can remain at a distance while you do that, just to get used to interacting-you wouldn't have to go over and meet her. Like have the bartender do something silly to the drink, like if she's drinking fufu drinks, have him/her make a big smiley face w/the fruit on top-cherries and pineapple (you could hold it together with tootpicks or something; well you're creative enough to figure out how to do that), and tell the bartender to tell the girl "someone thought you could use a smile today". You wouldn't have to talk to her, but it would be a baby step for you, and you could practice initiating connections that way.
Okay, got lots more ideas but I know you can't read long notes. lol
poster:garnet71
thread:892684
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090421/msgs/892732.html