Posted by Dinah on April 3, 2009, at 20:08:28
Today wasn't at all disappointing. We wandered a lot, but we focused on the feeling I've had lately that he hasn't been my therapist/mommy, and that his mention of the man behind the Wizard was sort of what was going on lately. And that it was upsetting me. I told him I was afraid he was going to say something stupid, like I really had the heart or bravery or brains all along.
We talked about the magic. How the magic comes from me, and from him, but that it becomes so much more when it comes together. That the relationship is the real magic.
But most importantly, we wandered to the topic of therapy as a sacred space. And how it becomes a sacred space because we sanctify it. We treat it as special, which makes it special. Like roast beef and yorkshire pudding. If we had it all the time, it wouldn't be special. But we make it special by only serving it at Christmas.
We hadn't been sanctifying the space lately, I think. We'd been acting like two almost friends or something. Not like therapist/therapee. We'd been chatting and laughing. But we hadn't made even a drop of magic.
Today we sanctified the space.
We also reviewed my progress in this last year, and agreed that he would indeed say that the work has been going on for all this time. Like Buddha under the Bodhi tree. He may have found enlightenment when he ceased to seek it, but the fifteen years of searching likely prepared him to receive it. That's one of my favorite things he's told me. And if I ever do terminate, that will be my termination gift to him.
I'm glad I posted about it yesterday. It gave me a chance to consider what's been making me uneasy lately. I didn't have the thought fully formed when I got to therapy today. But I had a good enough idea about why I was upset that we were able to explore it to good effect.
poster:Dinah
thread:888555
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090328/msgs/888555.html