Posted by rskontos on November 29, 2008, at 11:34:32
In reply to thanksgiving aftermath, posted by turtle on November 28, 2008, at 12:47:34
Turtle,
I am with Dinah. Recently my father and I had a big blow up when I finally confronted him with some things he made me feel. Big deal for me. I discussed it with my p-doc/t before. He said it could make me feel better/it could not make me feel better but the only way for me to know was to do it. So I did it. Whew. Things got ugly fast, but it was good for me. Now I lost it at therapy when I told my T what was said and done. But he was proud of me for not backing off and standing my ground. I do feel liberated in a sense to say some of the things I had been keeping in. In no way does it make my father feel bad for his part in my trauma, he is in denial and in denial he will stay. I did it for my freedom. And it has set me on more solid ground.
It also made me aware, that if I don't want to see him that is my choice for he made his so many years ago. My t has helped me see that I am not responsible for his actions he is. And how I feel now is due to those actions. I can try to love him as much as I can but how I feel is ok too.
I do so much relate to your post.
You must do what makes you feel the most solid and peaceful. Not what makes the rest of the world feel best.
It will get easier to decide what is right for you. Well maybe not easier but more doable.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:865593
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/865731.html