Posted by lucie lu on November 23, 2008, at 1:28:48
In reply to The L word with T?, posted by JayMac on November 22, 2008, at 12:31:16
Hi Jay,
I think it is both important and potentially extremely rewarding to fight your fears and say the L word to her. Remember that ultimately, she is the stand-in for what will hopefully be people in your life that you will be able to love. Wouldn't you want to say that to someone in your life and feel safe, comfortable, and authentic? To do that, if you've had wounds in that area as you have, takes both practice and working through your fears. Your T will be very happy to hear those words from you because she knows how hard they are for you and that it means progress in moving toward the courage and choice to work through fears of intimacy. I am confident, from what you've said about her, that she will not handle it badly. And it's true, that the session in which the L word first appears, remains memorable and special for both participants (isn't it true of most love relationships?). I'd consider it a real sign of progress that you have let yourself feel this for her and are becoming able to talk about some of your deepest and most important feelings. This will also make it easier to say other important but difficult things to her and also search beyond the L word for deeper meanings of intimacy for you.
So go for it, Jay. I think the risk will more than be repaid many times over.
Hugs,
Lucie
poster:lucie lu
thread:864636
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/864814.html