Posted by rskontos on October 28, 2008, at 20:03:01
In reply to Re: What does dissociation mean?Kath » rskontos, posted by Sigismund on October 28, 2008, at 16:52:04
Yes Sigismund,
fragmented. Early in therapy with this t, who is also my p-doc, I kept telling him I don't know the real me and that there isnt a real me. Now I am struggling with trying to do something in life. At my age. He is strongly suggesting something that he thinks I want to do. I asked him Monday how do you know I want to do this when I don't know.
That is the basic problem sometimes. I don't know myself because of all the fragments. i have so many holes. I have a sketchy memories, or again a fragments of memories: at the age of three-a truly horrific first memory of a fight between my parents, and then I have small bits, like riding in the back of my parents car at some dam with a bloody nose. That is it. I have some others that don't bear sharing due to their nature, anyway none of them are complete memories. This continues thru my teenage years and even during my, or rather, more so during my 20's when I often had huge lapses of time where I just did not know what happened. Or I "woke" up in places I would have rather not come back too.
Anyway, a lot of that is not worth going back over.
>I concentrated my attention with careful subtlety to this end. <
During that time I just did not concentrate on much of anything. Someone else inside my head was available to "know" what was going on and to handle it. sigh, I was the passenger in my own life.
and so fragmented I may just remain. It is a concept my t has a hard time with. Me, not so much.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:859540
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081018/msgs/859653.html