Posted by JayJ on October 15, 2008, at 15:29:39
In reply to Re: So scared » JayJ, posted by Dinah on October 15, 2008, at 8:21:14
One last round :)
One more possible suggestion and one comment on a comment of yours:
>It's hard for me to touch the fear with
conscious thought or will or logical thoughts.This made me wonder a little. I see that it would probably be really tough for you, but perhaps you could try to actually read up everything on what this "thing", vomit, really is - it's role in food digestion etc. Avoid any focus on it's wrenching psychic form, but look at it in it's "dry" scientific details. Maybe if you could demystify it by taking it apart into the mundane fine details it might lose some of its power over you? Just a thought.
>because secrets confer powerThis is a real truth. I've not often seen it addressed so directly, but I've thought about it in that way before and I think that this "small" fact has a really profound effect in producing the hidden me. Part of me is determined to get to the bottom of everything and allow me to open up to the world, but I sense a large chunk of me wants to hold on to this hidden power that you allude to. I guess the loss of power would give rise to vulnerability, which is still a major fear. I would like to get rid of the parts that plague me and at times paralyze me, but losing my "secrets" would in some ways seem like a real loss. Even with all this thinking about it, something inside is still saying things like, "the secrets are mine - nobody else knows anything about them - ha! - mine, mine, mine." "I'm holding my secrets over everybody's heads and there's nothing they can do - ha!" "DH upsets me, s'OK I've still got my secrets - that'll teach him"
I'm a big girl really :)
JayJ
poster:JayJ
thread:857131
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/857595.html