Posted by FindingMyDesire on October 12, 2008, at 12:16:48
In reply to Disconnected, posted by JayMac on October 11, 2008, at 18:25:52
JayMac,
> I basically would rather not have anyone than to have someone and have them hurt me and me hurt them.
>This is exactly where I am living right now (and throughout my history I guess). I keep trying to pull myself out of that mental spin/loop, but I just slip back into it every time it seems. For me, the more I work on this with the T the closer I seem to get to being able to stay IN the relationship, but the DEEPER I slip away when I slip. But then I seem to be recovering more quickly after the crash. Is that progress or just a scarier roller-coaster ride?
Mentally I think of it more as removing myself from that person rather than "not having them" but I think it's coming from the same place.
Lucie Lu: Your sentence here, "I became aware of how much my fears of abandonment were driving my behavior and assumptions." really hit me hard. I keep reading that sentence over and over like I might actually believe that is a truth... I think that's what I need to GET.
What do you think JayMac?
(((((((JayMac)))))))
FMD
poster:FindingMyDesire
thread:856969
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/857057.html