Posted by Suedehead on October 6, 2008, at 18:53:35
I wrote a note to my therapist in which I admitted that I am attracted to him. I gave it to him two weeks ago today, and at our next session, he told me that the attraction is mutual. We've spent our last three sessions talking about it, and I have to say that he has been very professional, appropriate, warm, sensitive, etc. about it every time. He told me that for a long time he wasn't sure whether he should tell me about his feelings, but that he ultimately decided that he ought to because he had a strong sense that it would be good for our work together. I asked him how he feels about being attracted to me. If it freaks him out. He said that it feels good, that it doesn't freak him out, but that he is very aware that we're walking a thin line, and that he is going to be very careful not to cross it. I trust him. I know that it's a thin line, too, and I'm being careful myself. I told a couple of friends about all this, though, and they seemed to think that he crossed the line the moment he admitted his attraction. A lot of the literature on this topic seems to stress that same point. What do you think? Is it always wrong for a therapist to admit an attraction to a patient? It seems to me that it was the human thing to do. The natural thing. I think that our feelings for each other have been obvious right from the start, so now that they are out in the open, things seem more authentic, somehow, and we seem to be communicating on a whole new plane. Of course, it's hard for me, in some sense, knowing that the attraction is mutual but that it can never lead to anything beyond a close therapeutic relationship. But it's not so hard for me that I wish he'd never told me. If he has done anything wrong, it's very hard for me to see it...
(Also, I feel kind of bad/selfish posting here, as I've been terrible about responding to others' posts since I joined this community a couple of months ago. I always *want* to respond--but my anxiety gets the best of me. So, I'm sorry for not being a more active participant. Suffice it to say that I read your stories and my heart goes out to all of you, truly.)
poster:Suedehead
thread:856082
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081005/msgs/856082.html