Posted by Dinah on September 28, 2008, at 16:12:44
In reply to My T is going to be out another 2 weeks, posted by TherapyGirl on September 27, 2008, at 19:46:27
I'm so sorry, Therapygirl.
I know how it is with me. If my therapist goes away, I might seem to be ok. But I've really shut off part of me, and as the day approaches for his return, that starts to surface in the expectation that it's safe to do so. That that need will soon be met.
If that day were to be postponed, when the emotions had already started to surface, it would be really hard to put it away again.
I agree with the others that she should have a better plan in place for dealing with her absence - especially since she's planning to retire soon.
It won't help in the short term, but given everything that's going on, maybe it's a good idea to call her, tell her how hard this is for you, and that even though you want to see her you also want the names of some therapists she thinks you'll get along well with. And maybe she should fill them in on you. I did that with my therapist. He hasn't gone through with it since he's not planning to abandon me at the moment. But I need to follow through myself, since he's not the most stable person in the world.
I know you said that you weren't planning to have a therapist after yours retired. Is that still your plan, after this experience?
I am so very sorry. I feel sorry for her too, of course. I know she didn't mean to do this. But I've found with my therapist that no matter how much he genuinely values me and is fond of me, when his own life is in turmoil I'm going to slip way down the priority scale. Not because he doesn't care, but because he's reeling and flailing and trying to save himself.
I suppose this does give me a slightly new appreciation for lousy therapy with my therapist when he's not at his best. Making himself unavailable to me while he's working out his own issues puts forward a whole new set of problems. At least I knew what was going on, I suppose.
((((Therapygirl))))
poster:Dinah
thread:854458
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/854642.html