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Re: Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences » JayJ

Posted by Dinah on September 20, 2008, at 16:03:02

In reply to Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences, posted by JayJ on September 20, 2008, at 14:45:55

FWIW, I don't really believe in soul mates. There are people you like and respect and admire and find attractive. They've got good qualities and bad qualities. Hopefully the good qualities are ones you admire, and the bad qualities are ones you can live with. They meet some of your needs, but some of your needs need to be met elsewhere.

Then you dig in and work hard and make a life together. At the end of fifty or sixty years of fighting, and laughing, and facing difficulties, and experiencing the joys of life with a good enough mate, you congratulate each other on a job well done. Not because of what you feel about each other, but because of what you've done together.

My guess is that your therapist would be at least as incompatible as your husband on a day to day basis. I adore my therapist, but two scatterbrained, impulsive, and spendthrift people wouldn't be able to build a life together very well - not even if he looked like Dr. Drew and I was madly attracted to him. My emotionally dense, frequently impatient and condescending, very funny and smart husband is someone that I can build a life with.

But then I find the strangest things romantic.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:852965
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