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Re: Too many topics, too little time » Angela2

Posted by Dinah on September 18, 2008, at 11:35:02

In reply to Too many topics, too little time, posted by Angela2 on September 18, 2008, at 8:38:48

Some days I have nothing to say. Other days I have so much I want to talk about, and it all seems urgent, and I really resent the ending of the session. Last session was like that.

I tell myself that there is always next session, and that is true. But sometimes the urgency wears away, and I may never bring something up. Is that because it wasn't worth bringing up? Or did I lose an opportunity to discuss something that could benefit me?

I always want to call my therapist to try to schedule an extra session. But lately I've found myself thinking not calling is virtuous. Perhaps because I know in my heart that in many ways I'm doing pretty well right now. I feel that if I'm not in crisis, then calling for extra sessions would be self indulgent. I feel that I need to try my wings between sessions. Learn to self soothe.

The funny thing is that if anyone else expressed those views, I'd probably tell them to stop being so hard on themselves and to call their therapist. I'd have told myself that a year ago. So I have the sneaking feeling I'm not being as grown up as I think I am.

Hmmm... I also often post on Babble. I find the give and take with other posters often helps me work things through or bring the incoherent thoughts into a meaningful whole, even without my therapist's presence. Then I bring the finished product to him. To some extent, I guess, I've learned to be my own therapist. But I can only do it in the give and take with others. If I try to think of it on my own, my brain does loopty loops and I enter into a mobius strip of thought.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:852623
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