Posted by antigua3 on September 16, 2008, at 12:22:34
In reply to Inner child stuff, posted by Tabitha on September 16, 2008, at 2:51:44
It took me years to separate out that there was still a little girl inside of me who felt awful at times and had nowhere to turn. That was me as a little girl. I learned maladaptive coping techniques that I'm still trying to unravel.
What I do know now is that she is there and when I feel bad or awful, I try to look inside and see if it is coming from her. If it is (and it usually is), I talk to her, comfort her (hugging teddy bears is great) and just keep telling her that I am here now, as an adult, and I will always take care of her. She has to let me know, though, when things are bad. Before I just reacted w/o knowing where the feelings were coming from. Now I consciously connect w/her.
This may sound silly, but now I also tell her that if whatever she is dealing w/ is too hard for her to handle, to give it to me and I will hold it and solve the problem. There is so much I don't remember about my childhood, and I know she holds the key, and I just keep reassuring her in hopes that she will hand it over to me, so I can know and heal.
This goes against the integration of self, only because I'm unwilling to do that until I've dealt with all of this and she feels safe.
Sometimes she wants M&Ms, a real comfort when I was a kid, and so I give them to her.
What I'm trying to say is that just recognizing she is there, and isn't ready to integrate, means there's work to do. Sometimes I tell her to go play in the gardens I loved as a child, or read a book. But I always tell her that she's safe with me. I have her best interests at heart, but I also won't allow self-destructive behavior anymore.
sorry to go on, but this is really impt to me,
antigua
poster:antigua3
thread:852233
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852287.html