Posted by rskontos on September 10, 2008, at 16:01:08
In reply to Re: What's the diff. between 'care for' + 'care about' » lucie lu, posted by stellabystarlight on September 10, 2008, at 14:50:02
Stella,
I just wanted to say, I agree with Lucie, and add that I think it is only in the T relationship that we feel safer to even ask this directly. I mean I never have ever ask anyone that question. I still haven't ask my T but he recently did something that floored me, and I asked him would he do something like that because it was something that my own father would not do. He replied, Because I feel you are worth it and I believe what we are doing here is very valuable. Now for me, worth and valuable are synonymous in terms of showing me he "cares" about me. I would probably freak out if I thought he "cared for me". Too much caring for me right now or ever probably. You know. But I guess what we all really want to know is, Are we careable? Do we possess the traits that others will find worth caring about especially since somewhere along the way something went wrong from childhood or marriage or for some at sometime in their lives to wind up in therapy.
I know for me, I don't trust easily. My H asked me if I trusted him and I did not answer him. He said well that is my answer. Well that is just it, I have always protected myself. I learned at too early an age, people were not trustworthy and to always have a back door. That is not easily undone.
So in therapy, I think we first start to undo the wrong (or try to), and this is the first place, it is the safest to say, "Do you care". But I think too that question means more to us and they, T's know this before most of us.
Anyway, I hope this makes sense.
take care,
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:851345
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/851380.html