Posted by Racer on September 3, 2008, at 7:37:54
In reply to Re: Drop and Dash aka Doorknob Confession » antigua3, posted by Poet on September 2, 2008, at 19:43:31
>> Though when it comes to CSA she said she won't bring it up unless I do and in an indirect way I brought it up. What am I so afraid of? Sigh.
>Maybe you're afraid that, if you say it out loud to another person, it will become Real. It will become something which Really Did Happen?
Or, maybe you're afraid that you'll be told that It Wasn't That Bad? That it's all your fault for thinking it was Bad, when anyone else would have been able to shake it off without a care? Or that you'll have to be able to explain how what happened caused you pain -- why it hurt you? That only sounds like a crazy idea until you realize that it's my fear -- "what happened to you really wasn't that bad, many people have been through far worse, you're only hurt by it because you're Too Damned Sensitive." Funny thing, of course -- that's exactly what happened to me as a kid...
I'm a huge believer in backing into a subject with my eyes closed and fingers in my ears singing LALALALA. If I were trying to get you to a place where you could open up about this topic, I think I'd start with exploring what it is that prevents you from talking about this. Is it a fear, like those above, that involve external elements? Are you afraid that if you ever speak of it, you'll break down into tears and cry so hard you'll break apart? That's another of my fears, that if I talk about certain things, it'll be so bad that I'll break into pieces that can't be put back together.
Of course, you're not me, and I'm not nearly as clever as you are in so very many ways, so your own reluctance may be very different. I still hope you find a way to heal -- even if you never say a word.
poster:Racer
thread:849477
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080826/msgs/850040.html