Posted by Racer on August 30, 2008, at 15:53:15
In reply to Re: I'm Going to Turn Myself In » Just Me33, posted by susan47 on August 30, 2008, at 13:31:07
> Thanks, Sunny. But about those two outside cats ...
I do this too -- the tangents, and I think it's kinda charming whenever I see it.
My argument about outdoor cats -- after spending an entire night and a month's salary getting a cat patched up at the emergency vet clinic -- is a little different from yours, though. There are two things a cat can do outside that he/she can't do inside -- get sick, and get hurt. (Although I've get to bring live rodents in for my cats, they're usually quite happy when a fly or moth gets in, and they do keep our household safe from aluminium foil crumples and ball point pens.)
The one exception to that in my view, however, are barn cats -- feral cats who wouldn't be "tame-able" into household pets, who perform a job for the barns by reducing the rodent population.
And I think I agree with some of what SeldomSeen had to say. She made a very good point about joint responsibility in a bad therapeutic situation. Since I, too, had a Very Bad Experience, I'm going to pick it apart a little -- which by no means indicates that I don't agree with the premise. This is mostly clarifying it for me.
First, responsibility is different from blame. You can accept responsibility for acting out the transference, and that doesn't mean you have to blame yourself for it.
Second -- your therapist is a professional, and is expected to recognize certain dynamics which we, the clients, may not consciously aware of. It's not that he should somehow have controlled you -- but I think a therapist really is responsible for helping us become consciously aware of those behavior patterns which interfere with our quality of life. Setting boundaries is often an area that people struggle in, and I expect a good therapist to model boundary setting. I guess what I'm saying is that it's not his fault -- but I don't think he did his job in a way I would consider even minimal standard of care.
And my disclaimer -- we've only heard your side of this, so we're getting only one perspective. I don't think his perspective would be perfectly objective in this, and I don't imagine yours is, either -- but you've very clearly conveyed over the past few years your emotional reality of that period. Maybe he did try to set boundaries, and you couldn't recognize them? Maybe he unconsciously encouraged your transference for his own gratification. Maybe he was replaced by a pod person who grew in his backyard. All I know is that I really do see a different set of responsibilities for client and clinician -- and I tend to think that controlling the process is largely the responsibility of the one with training in that area, just as I tend to think teachers are responsible for controlling the classroom.
Sorry for the wordiness -- I'm concision challenged, you know...
poster:Racer
thread:849022
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080826/msgs/849277.html