Posted by obsidian on August 12, 2008, at 22:05:57
In reply to Re: anyone taken a break? » obsidian, posted by wishingstar on August 12, 2008, at 20:13:24
I feel like you shouldn't have to be in crisis mode to expect weekly consistent sessions
I mean crisis management is one thing, ongoing therapy is another
and aren't weekly sessions the norm?I guess I might feel like "oh great, I am paying someone to provide a service I should pretend like I don't need"
geez, how do you win in that situation?
I mean really, I could probably go without therapy...I likely wouldn't do as well on a short term daily basis, I'd have some crises to deal with on my own
but beyond that I'd stop developing as a person
I mean what is the goal of less than weekly sessions?I am sorry if I am coming across as judgmental, I don't mean to be, but I feel like you are quite reasonable in your expectations and that it is OK to need someone to be there for you and to be disappointed if they aren't.
I suppose my gut is reacting to this:
There is a big part of me that says (but is less in charge now) "oh, sorry, nevermind, you're right, how can I bother you with this? I need to just pull it together. I have to not need anything from anyone."
I have a huge amount of neglect in my past. I can disappear, I can do it, I can not be a bother to anyone, and I have actually been pretty proud of that in the past. To relive trying to ask for help and not be heard however, could be immensely painful to me.don't know if you relate to any of this, but there it is........
-sid> Yes, that's exactly how I feel. What do I have to do to appear like I need her? I feel like I'm in the "doing okay, more flexible when it comes to needing weekly sessions" group right now and I swear, I dont know what else it'd take to show her that I'm NOT okay. I try my best to be honest. I just wrote out a long email to her but deleted it. I've hit that withdrawal point. Run away. The risk is greater than the possible benefit right now. What does it take for me to be important? Am I THAT unimportant and not special, as a person? I think I am.
>
> > for me I hate it when I feel like distancing myself is the only workable solution for some problem
> > I understand it of course, sometimes it feels like it's all you can do
> > I think that it is exceedingly difficult to put yourself on the line emotionally without the expectation of some consistency
> > I don't think that is unreasonable
> > I don't get this..'yeah, I'll see you whenever I'm not booked up' kinda crap...WTF
> > it's a commitment dammit-on both sides
> > not fair to you!
> >
> > sorry for the rant,
> > sid
>
>
poster:obsidian
thread:845742
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080810/msgs/845815.html