Posted by onceupon on August 7, 2008, at 15:21:02
Lately I've really noticed wanting to be similar to my therapist - or maybe it's that I want my therapist to be similar to me. For instance, I often wonder about what she's like as a parent and whether she makes some of the same parenting decisions as I do. Sometimes I find myself observing what I'm saying and wondering whether she would agree or disagree with it (things like sending my son to daycare or extended nursing). I feel like it doesn't really matter, but it also does. Because if she's totally dissimilar from me, then is she judging what I'm saying? Not even intentionally, just as a kneejerk reaction.
I guess the stuff about parenting comes up readily because it's so easy to get sucked into judgmental language around parenting choices (what seems to happen on a lot of online parenting forums). But my wish for similarity includes pretty innocuous stuff too, like taste in music, favorite books, etc.
I also wonder if she's ever experienced depression from the inside. I don't think that she has to have experienced it to help me with my own, and maybe it's even better if she hasn't, because she won't project her own experience onto me. But, but can she know what it's like?
IDK, maybe it just comes down to me wanting her to like me, and that's more likely if we have similar tastes? I remember from social psychology that initial attraction (not necessarily physical) is based a good deal on similarity. So maybe this is just my over-analytical mind going to task on something that I should just leave be.
There's a part of me that wants to believe we *could* be friends were I not her client. Not that I would necessarily want to, but that the potential was there. Just thinking out loud here, I guess. Anyone have this experience?
poster:onceupon
thread:844805
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844805.html