Posted by Nadezda on August 3, 2008, at 22:24:45
In reply to Re: Borderline Personality Disorder..NOT learned » Amanda29, posted by Dinah on August 3, 2008, at 22:09:03
Another thing-- any therapist who works with BPD (any therapist, really) will emphasize that it's not your fault that you have these problems.
It's very very important not to move into self-blame-- because that's part of the invalidating way of thinking that can be really hurtful to you-- and because you don't deserve that. None of this is your fault-- you didn't choose your biological sensitivity and you didn't choose your environment.
I'm sure you therapist, even if he finds the work challenging and even draining at times-- finds it very meaningful and worthwhile to work with you. Otherwise he doesn't have to do it-- he could choose not to work with certain people-- but he seems to prefer to have you in his practice. I think what he means is that some of what you do to yourself and to him isn't necessary, in the future-- that there is hope that you can work, over time, to change your life significantly.
So even if you're going through a very hard time now-- there is a lot of potential, if you stick with the work, and try to see more clearly how you're reacting to situations, internally and externally-- and to try to move toward emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness-- as Dinah was suggesting--
It's hard to do-- but it can be done. For the moment though-- don't blame yourself, or think that your therapist is blaming you, or wishing he'd never seen you-- or anything like that. He's said he's committed to you-- and I think you should take him at his word.
I'm sure he wouldn't want you to blame yourself, or to think worse of yourself because of the things he said. Maybe he was too strong and confrontational in how he said that-- therapists can do that at times-- but I think he would say that that certainly wasn't what he wanted.
Nadezda
poster:Nadezda
thread:843786
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844024.html