Posted by Daisym on August 2, 2008, at 17:22:31
In reply to Is it possible that my therapist idealizes me?, posted by Dinah on August 1, 2008, at 23:18:04
How could he not?
One of the things that I think he has *always* taken for granted is your ability to sef-analyze and keep both of you on track. You are very psycholgically intelligent and you know what you need pretty well. He gets to build on your self-laid foundation. That isn't a bad thing at all.
But when you are regressed, his attempts of build on a foundation, which is momentarily less secure, must feel like pressure - a brick that is too heavy or put in the wrong place. It is a regulation thing - he helps you regulate and in this case he didn't - he dropped something in that you had to hold yourself. Good or bad, that is hard.
And I think anything that surprises you about your therapist right now is not going to sit well. You need him to be predictible and that unflappable presence that you value so much. I suspect that you don't trust that this positive assessment isn't part of his current "glow" -- that it doesn't really belong to you at all. Even if it is true - you speak about the vehemence of his belief - did he need for you to believe him for some reason?
This reminds me of what we often tell our home visitors - be careful with compliments. Judging someone positively still shows that you can, and will, judge them.
poster:Daisym
thread:843605
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/843762.html